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Join the Church of Scientology and learn how to avoid trouble


At first there is the thrill, the excitement of discovering something that can really help you. You receive some communication training and your first auditing sessions. You experience personal gain, a boost in energy and interest. You overcome some barriers and feel this will help you reach your potential.

As you become dedicated in the Church of Scientology, the demands for your time and money increase steadily:

Registrars demanding donations for books, lectures, Ideal Org building and renovations, IAS, SuperPower, ASI, Library Campaign. Any other Org staff asking for much of the same. Public Scientologists asking you to donate for the Ideal Org or the Library Campaign. Staff and public demanding your time – for the OT Committee, Ideal Org projects, getting others to donate, translation projects. The list goes on. Then there are the mandatory briefings and the local and international events. And not to forget about the recruitment interviews to get you on staff in the local Org or to the Sea Org. Then there is demands for you to disseminate Scientology to others. And if you are a business person, you should be an active WISE member. There are of course numerous other causes demanding your time and money. You may wonder how you would have any time or money left to do any study or spiritual progress.

If you do not meet the demands, you will get in trouble. If you do not toe the party line and behave and act as a real Scientologist, there are plenty of staff, public and friends ready to write a report on you for not acting correctly.

Protesting gets you in trouble. Disregarding the demands get you in trouble. Not showing up at events likewise. Saying “no” is not accepted. Exercising your personal integrity is a pretty sure way of getting you into ethics. And there you will recant or else.

You get to be an expert in being just enough active and “correct” to get by unnoticed. Answering the phone just enough times to not seem defiant. Going to half the events and sneaking out before the regging starts. Avoiding the IAS events. Hiding sufficiently. Buying only some books and lectures. You will find better and better excuses for why you don’t have time and money. Your communication skills get drilled to slippery perfection. You will soon compete with Neo dodging bullets but without the benefit of CGI effects.

Doing this for a while may earn you an Aikido black belt in Trouble-Avoidance. You will also gain negative personal integrity. Because all that talent is wasted by trampling on your own self. Whereas actually doing Scientology will give you personal integrity and freedom, being a Scientologist in the church will award you the ability to avoid trouble.

The next billboard ad should be honest and truthful: “Join the Church of Scientology and learn how to avoid trouble”.

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